Chris DeLine

When does a novelty act become a superstar? When such a novelty is a key ingredient in a blazing new ad campaign, that’s when. Given that I too would probably take the pay day (rent ain’t cheap boss) I cannot really say anything bad about Mr. Adam Bahner (aka Tay Zonday); but I can say something bad about not only the Pepsi Corporation, but our society in general.

Understanding that it is important, when launching a new product, to have a few areas for the consumer to touch base with (that “Chocolate Rain guy” being one of them, Dr. Pepper’s established brand being the other) it is still a bit unnerving to actually see a product like this being put on the market. The diet part…I get that – some peoples just likes their soda/pop/coke/soft drink to be less sugary tasting, others because of what their diet prohibits. The cherry part? No brainer – who wouldn’t want a soft drink to have that unmistakable flavor of ol’ Granny May’s sugary delight on their tongue as the nectar of the gods quenches your thirst? But…it’s the chocolate part I’m having a hard time with. Don’t get me wrong, I love chocolate…I love the taste of it, and the smell of it can often be stimulating in its own right. But to take a like-tasting chemical, mix it with a few other odd choices and brand it as the next wave of diet liquids ready for consumption? Me thinks that’s asking a bit much. For those of you familiar with Patton Oswalt, you’ll know exactly why this is sitting a little wrong with me.

And I think America has spoken, by provoking one of the nation’s largest corporations to concoct a blend featuring the delicious taste of Dr. Pepper with that of chocolate…and cherries…but not the normal, tasty Dr. Pepper – that oddly bland, tasteless, bubbly Diet Dr. Pepper that the kids seem to love so much. This is the web, and it’s gonna murder your TV…and apparently ruin your taste buds forever in the process (or so one can only imagine after watching this video).

[This post was first published by Culture Bully.]