Chris DeLine

On the heels of the recent internet phenomena that was The Landlord comes this set of clips staged at USC where strength coach Chuck Berry (Farrell) examines and prepares Ryan Kalil for the NFL draft. Speaking of football, personally, since the sport’s finest icon called it a career in May of 2006 I have been in somewhat of a football purgatory where the sport hasn’t been bad, but hasn’t exactly been meaningful. Though living in Minnesota would make me a Vikings fan be default, the team hasn’t exactly held itself in a the most respectable of light the past few seasons and in the process has pretty much ended any chance of me giving them serious props. With that being said, I’ve put some serious thought into this, and I think it’s time that Greg Olson replace one Doug Flutie as the number one athlete in the game and in my heart.

See, living in the Midwest is, as I’ve come to learn during the past five years, a very odd thing. One isn’t necessarily obligated to cheer, root or applaud one’s home team just because they represent the city on some sort of national level. While frowned upon, it’s still accepted for Minnesotans to claim either The Green Bay Packers or Chicago Bears as “their team” (especially given the circumstances surrounding yachts, strippers and pretty much anything Randy Moss ever did). So, looking at last season’s statistics (Green Bay: a mediocre 8-8/Chicago: a whirlwind of fury at 13-3) it appears as though Chicago is my new “team” and accordingly in a show of support I’m declaring the team’s first pick in today’s NFL Draft, Greg Olson, my new favorite player.

I’m not one to nitpick statistics, unless said statistics relate to the career of one Doug Flutie, who by the way holds the professional football record of 6,619 yards passing in a single season, but after skimming the report on Olson I’d say that my team has made the correct pick. 6′4″, weighs in at 252 lbs. and can bench 400lbs. Yeah, that’s right – I just said 400lbs. Starting to regret not picking up a certain under the radar superstar athlete, aren’t we Oakland…?

[This post was first published by Culture Bully.]