Chris DeLine

The illusion of relief goes beyond “self-sabotage” or an internal voice of doubt – the illusion of relief goes deeper. The illusion of relief masks its harm as a justified solution. The illusion of relief sells itself as the only viable option. The illusion of relief looks like a safe harbor in the midst of a storm. The illusion of relief feels like the answer. The illusion of relief feels like relief. But the illusion of relief is not relief. The illusion of relief is just an illusion.

Yet the illusion of relief has me sitting here, typing all this out, and still considering how eating a pizza and a box of cookies in a single sitting would probably be OK because I’m hungry, it’s Sunday, and at least cookies aren’t liquor. Even having a logical handle on the situation, and knowing that the outcome of taking such action has only ever resulted in rapidly compounding levels of guilt and shame, the twisted aspect of all this is that the illusion of relief still seems like it’s worth a try.